Songs
Into the Sun - Single Release March 2019
And I've been on the run around the sun and back again, but not with you.
And I have met so many people that believe in me, but only a few.
The rush to have you singing back to me is all I need , this is my only truth.
I think I'll run some more around again and jump the fence into the sun
Into the sun
Into the sun
Into the sun
If you look hard enough you can see, If you stare long enough you can tell.
If you weave in and out and between, you'll see for a moment or more.
The game, the plays, and the final score, open windows and open doors.
The thunder, the lightning, the rain. The way the moonlight casts on your face.
I personify my only friend and the best we can get is a dollar to spend.
Thank you really, thank you sincerely. Around is fun, but I'm done drowning.
Take this, listen. Open your eyes, open your heart, open your mind.
Run with me? Jump that fence. Swim with me 'till the end.
And drown with us but not outside, 'cause that would be no fun
Come on now while the nights still young
"Live in the moment" together we sung you took me by the hand
And then we jumped
Into the Sun…
Rooftop - Single Release August 2018
Counting the silence on the ceiling, I should be writing something more appealing.
And it seems that the sky and the stars and the moon all disagree with me
And if it weren’t this way I guess it would be easy, I should be writing something more appealing.
The only thing that changes between the days is the weather. How can I get sick of you if all you do is make me better?
So come count the stars as we sit on the roof of your mother’s house
And run in the dark, this is it, our fresh start.
AFTERTHOUGHT 2017
SO HERE I WRITE
I might be lonely, I don’t know. Am I really trapped inside my soul?
It’s what they tell me, I’m awake. I must return before its too late.
To the place that I once called home. To a conscience I once had roamed.
I stand before you telling lies, I know I'm not enough for you you'll see it in my eyes,
I keep this all inside
So here I write, cause I don't even know myself, my time is sat upon a shelf.
And all that's left will only melt…
will only melt onto this page, as I unravel the thoughts that make me insane. Everyday.
But you'd never know it true, cause the person I am is not really who you want to see
but I'd never want to be, who I'm not - so here, I'll just leave.
I've decided I'll go try to find a new home, a new conscience, and possibly a new soul.
But soon enough I find that I am alone in this choice I must make
with just my voice and my mistakes.
So here I write, cause I don't even know myself, my time is sat upon a shelf.
And all that's left will only melt…
Will only melt onto this page, as I unravel all the thoughts that make me insane. Everyday.
And it should really be enough, I know.
To have one person whom I can trust but what happens when the love between me and that person grows to be unsteady,
What if they find they are not ready, to come with me if I were to leave
So we both just sit here silently.
I must find a way to free my soul, I must leave on my own .
So here I write, cause I don't even know myself, my time is sat upon a shelf.
And all that's left will only melt…
Will only melt onto this page, as I unravel all the thoughts that make me insane. Everyday.
EVERYBODY’S WATCHING
Everybody’s watching me like everybody’s watching you
But the people that look my way, they tend to see right through
So give me those dark sunglasses, we’ll hide from the sun as time passes.
As you avoid the camera flashes, I’ll be back here dealing with this madness.
And I’ll carry your shame as they wipe away any mistakes that you may have made
You gotta look pretty, you gotta seem nice. Maybe in the morning you might think twice.
So I get to wake up and see what you have become
it’s not easy to look in the mirror when your mind is a loaded gun.
Confused yet? Ha, I bet. Maybe because what I’m talking about doesn’t quite make any sense
But I’m not talkin to you, I’m talkin to her, I’m talking to me.
Had enough for today, had enough for right now? Okay that’s fine, just leave.
Cause Everybody’s Watching Me like everybody’s watching you, but the difference is they see different things than I do. Lights camera action, but hiding behind these curtains provides minimal satisfaction.
My feet stuck on the ground, I watch her as she dances around.
So Take back your shame and give me the fame cause you don’t deserve it.
And tell them the truth that they have been played and draw back the curtain.
I’m uncertain, I’m unsteady but I gotta keep on trying.
I’m afraid of heights but I reach for the sky cause I’m tired of hiding.
So stop dying and start living cause unlike you the time keeps ticking
I don’t know about you but I’m going with it, everything you’ve been through
ball it up and kick it.
Cause everybody’s watching me like everybody’s watching you The difference is they see different things than I do….
Cause everybody’s watching me.
DARLING
A place were you are afraid a place where you are cold,
Let me take your unsteady hands and give you what I have
All I have to offer, all I have to give, Something you are blind with
You won't see what I will give you, But listen close and I’ll continue
Only if you want me to, only If you don't mind
I want to ask you something now, darling are you alright? Are you alright?
Darling are you alright now, Can you hear the words I've spoken
I know you’re wondering why and how, And I’m afraid no answers have awoken
But will you promise me that you won't leave, Just 'cause i don't want you to and it's what I need
Maybe you could prove to me, what some words can mean to you
'cause if the blood in my veins keeps your heart beating, than maybe I can go on too
A room so dark and peaceful a place no one can touch
Let me take your unsteady breath and give you what you want
A page full of color or a book full of words, A page you won't see and a page you will turn
Have the days become easier and are your demons alive?
Tell me now darling are you alright?
Darling are you alright now, Can you hear the words I've spoken
I know you’re wondering why and how, and I’m afraid no answers have awoken
But will you promise me you won't leave
Just 'cause I don't want you to and it's what I need
Maybe you could prove to me, what some words can mean to you
'cause if the blood in my veins keeps your heart beating, than maybe I can go on too
I'm trying to tell you to never give up, Don't fall into the hole that you haven't dug
others look for you there and they have no luck, Don't leave behind the ones you have loved
You’re alright tonight and the sun will rise, But it won't be as beautiful without you to by my side. Tonight to lose you i will not alow so darling please tell me are you alright now.
Darling are you alright now, Can you hear the words I've spoken
I know you’re wondering why and how, and I’m afraid no answers have awoken
But will you promise me you won't leave
Just 'cause I don't want you to and it's what I need
Maybe you could prove to me, what some words can mean to you
'cause if the blood in my veins keeps your heart beating, than maybe I can go on too
'cause if the blood in my veins keeps your heart beating, than maybe I can go on too
12:06
Today wasn’t good until I saw your faces,
There I looked and I stood, and it reminded me of why I do this
And I can’t get caught up in what could’ve been
cause I’m not quite sure of what would happen if I did.
Now you’re sorry, now you’re sorry great, but it’s a little late,
And it hurt what you did, what all of you did
And to think that I missed, if I was stronger what could’ve been.
And now its been so long, now I’m stuck under your thumb
Because you couldn’t let go you couldn’t let go,
And it’s been too long and now I’m feeling like I wanna be done
But here I sit instead writing this song.
Apology accepted but now I’m standing at your doorstep and I’m helpless
But you meant it, but I’m helpless. And you don’t know why, you don’t know why.
Because you weren’t there you were too scared to open up and show yourself, now I’m prepared for anything bad and anything good
now I know that the world is not what it should be.
Yea now I see, thanks to you, I’ve got a new perspective
Oh wait never mind, I’m still sitting inside and pressing rewind
cause I couldn’t see the signs
still don’t understand cause where did I go wrong
that I can now be writing a song about how everything is so messed up
how I never was enough, how I wish that I was tough, suck it up,
this is us this is what you’re going to get cause,
just forget about everything they said
even when the words come back to haunt you as you lay awake in bed
and who would’ve guessed?
And now it’s been so long, now I’m stuck under your thumb
Because you couldn’t let go you couldn’t let go
And it’s been too long and now I’m feeling like I want to be done
But here I sit instead writing this song.
MY BACKYARD
Your telling me I need to speak, well first you do your part.
There’s a leak I my bathroom sink and there is trash in my backyard.
You see I once had this neighbor, their name was something you would never know
They taught me all about betrayal, they told me that I shouldn’t ever show who I was to the people, that they would judge me too hard.
So my vision went blurry and my mind went dull,
and they made a home for themselves in my backyard.
They dyed my grass brown and over some time all sound faded out and they drew certain lines trapping me inside my house and its unfair right?
Unjust that I put all this trust in this one landlord that I ran to the very next night,
explaining each cry that had already been heard from inside my thin walls.
But a lesson I learned, and all that I got, all that I’ll ever get,
is the one thing you can’t understand
and it’s called loneliness.
You’re telling me I need to speak well I’m sorry but I won't,
its not really one of my specialties, so here’s this song I wrote.
CASTLE STREET
I sang an old song to a stranger, And suddenly I felt brand new,
It's one I'd been saving for later, But this time when I sang I told the truth,
I sang an old song to a stranger, The lyrics I had wrote for you
My words sank deep into his eyes, as i told him the story of all your lies ,
And everything I would keep inside, But not this time, not this time.
(he said) Let me make you a world without darkness,
It's been too long that you've been trying to fight this
And let me give you a moment or two, to think this through, its your call
I let him take away the pain from words about you I once sang,
and this was when everything changed
I sang an old song to a stranger, He walked away and said that he would see me soon
The truth came out, but nothing major,
I didn't know how much right here there was to lose
I found a way that we just might, lose track of reality in the night
When I wrote the words that I recite, even if it doesn't turn out right, and they say
Let me make you a world without darkness,
It's been too long that you've been trying to fight this
And let me give you a moment or two to think this through - it's your call
DARK BLUE DRIVE
Deep blue, and purple. And me. And you. Dark red, and black. And me. Without you.
Rain, and snow. And dusty window panes. Grey and more grey.
We're counting down the days. Soft sand below unsteady feet.
My head on your chest, and I’m counting the beats. Painting a picture in your head.
And I hope you picture red. Cause that's where I am. And that's where I'll be.
A dark red world, without you and me. A dark red world, without you and me.
Picture this. Yellow dimming lights
Seal with a kiss on dark blue drive. Walk with me, with me. Under the street lights.
Deep blue, and purple. And me. And you. And me and you... And i hope you picture blue.
UNDEFINED
Everyone looks better from far away, and everything feels better at night than day
Darkness puts out this burning fire, that ignites the colors of my imagination at night my attire
Undefined this darkness in my mind it blends, My creativity mends out of these trends
I’m running from in daylight, these feelings I’m having are just right
As I’m falling and longing and not belonging
Mind tearing at the seams still drowning in my dreams,
I'm laying and sinking deep AKA falling asleep
Suddenly my eyes burn I turn. Bright is shining through the blinds and finally I learn
There's no hiding deciding, no crying is worth it. Wasting the night away yea yea.
'Cause the sun will rise yet I’m afraid to fight and this time we’ve wasted
becomes time we’re chasing. Lets chase it.
As I’m falling and longing and not belonging
Mind tearing at the seams still drowning in my dreams,
I'm laying and sinking deep AKA falling asleep
As we're falling and longing and not belonging
Minds tearing at the seams still drowning in our dreams,
We're laying and sinking deep AKA falling asleep.
TRAVELIN’
Too many miles I've walked in these shoes.
Around my neck i feel this noose.
Too many miles I've walked in these shoes.
The further I go I feel I’ve nothing to lose.
Travlin' on my own, I’m tavelin all the way home.
I don’t know where I’m gonna go but
I hope this road leads me all the way home.
I've never walked on a beach at sunset all alone but
I’ve been carrying this weight on my shoulders that I can’t hold.
Im Travlin' on my own, I’m tavelin all the way home.
I don’t know where I’m gonna go but
I hope this road leads me all the way home.
All the way home. All the home. All the way home.
QUICKSAND
And it’s the afterthought that counts, how it affected you in the end
How to a certain extent it led you to pretend, to pretend you’re something you’re not,
And somehow you got caught; caught up in the moment,
in so deep you barley hold it all together anymore
And you begin to feel so sore and it’s not fair anyway, that you got to say everything you thought was right, but at the end of the night, when you lay your head to rest,
I wonder if you feel distress.
Maybe mine that you caused or his or her passion that was lost, I don’t know but-
I do hope you understand, you left me sinking in the sand.
Quicksand – shoulder to lend – Not around – Feeling down -
turned around what was mine, and now what I can’t seem to find.
Quicksand, Shoulder to lend, You're not around. You're not around
Believe it or not I’ve been let down, broken as you hear with every sound down
by the ones who think they’re right who think they know everything.
Out of sight out of mind is what they – that’s what they tell me.
Not sure exactly what is real Not sure exactly what to feel, all I’m really sure of is-
I need someone to help me out, pick me up off of the ground,
where I sink into all that’s demeaning, all that’s been deceiving,
try to find some meaning – some purpose,
cause all that is worthless has been caught up in this world-wind and has almost hit the surface and oh I tried to tell ‘em that I’m sinking to the bottom, what’s the problem?
I don’t think you understand, let me ask you this,
should I prepare for a crash landing, or is someone gonna save me?
Save me, Are You gonna save me.
And I – tell them I’m doing this for myself, not for anybody else
Dreamin’ big and out of your league and reaching farther than you can see.
Good days – bad days, they all add up. Some will be easy and some will tough.
Some say it’s impossible, not even really probable, I say we’re unstoppable
and just keep on getting lost in it all.
Quicksand, shoulder to lend, You're not around. You're not around.
- And it’s the AFTERTHOUGHT that counts!
Maybe Tommorow 2016
COMATOSE
I must've fallen must've hit my head. I know i did, i know i did.
I must've been running too fast and tripped. I know i did, i know i did.
Comatose, comatose...
Comatose I'm in a deep sleep floating away I’m drowning in my dreams. I’m asleep.
I wanna run away, gotta run away but I am so afraid I am so afraid
That my dreams are here to stay. They’re here to stay.
It’s amazing what I can see when my eyes are closed. In my mind only these are secrets no one knows.
Comatose, I’m in comatose.
Head to toe I’m filled with wonder, wondering if I’ll ever wander from these dreams,
Cause that’s something I need, I’m asleep.
I wanna run away, gotta run away but I am so afraid I am so afraid
That my dreams are here to stay. They’re here to stay.
It’s amazing what I can see when my eyes are closed. In my mind only these are secrets no one knows.
Comatose, I’m in comatose. I’m asleep.
DARKEST ROAD
What should I have expected, when I walk alone on the darkest road.
And my house is my home and the rest of the world is just cold, behold the truth.
Is it really only me and you? Is it really only what we do and what we choose?
Is this all a game that we win or lose? Is this all just a game that we win or lose?
Cause I quit, my cards are folded. So let the rain, let the rain, let the rain, let it pour.
Cause I can’t take, I can’t take, I can’t take this anymore.
And what should I have expected when I chose a path I knew just couldn’t last.
Cause what I see, what I dream, what I believe, what you expect is the best and I’m not perfect.
I’m not perfect. And what I breathe is the passion that you lack. And when I leave I just hope that I’ll come back for more… Back for more.
So let the rain, let the rain, let the rain, let it pour.
Cause what I need, what I need, what I need, is something more.
FLY
When I was a young girl I thought that I could fly.
I thought that I could make a difference I thought I could change this world, now I wonder why.
And I don’t know where I was when I first heard, but I know you were there.
And I know that I was scared but now I’m here and I gonna…
I’m gonna fly I’m gonna fly I’m gonna try to fly.
When I was a young girl I thought that I could fly.
But now that I am wiser and older, I’ve fallen any times.
And I know someone out there is feeling the same
And all I’m saying is I’m just trying to make a change.
And they’d say when I was younger it would be okay
but it just didn’t turn out quite the same as they hoped.
I saw reality, people lie people try get betrayed every day and I see the pain.
And I just can’t will myself to look away, Oh no.
And I lied maybe once and I tried twice as hard but I didn’t give up and I still got the card.
I got the message that I failed the words did not exactly sail
And I fell so hard and they all disregarded the fact I was alone and that’s just never gonna go away.
So I’m gonna fly I’m gonna fly I’m gonna try to fly.
Cause I wanna be able to make you proud.
And I wanna be able to change this world.
When I was a young girl, I thought that I could fly.
JANUARY BREEZE
I think about it all the time what could I say to you what could rhyme.
In your head and what could make sense cause my words are obviously meaningless.
What could trigger a memory of a time we spent together you and me
And what could make you understand cause obviously me myself I can’t.
It’s like I need to turn back time to show you how things used to be
And I need to explain to you every rhyme just to make you see.
Everything that is a memory is a spec of dust and it blows right past us
In the wind at high speed and I can’t slow it down or make it stop.
So as a blind man can’t you see when you hear my pain in the words I sing? This never ending flow of memories.
Alright so when I say I’m done with his games its cliché I don’t mean it you know things won’t ever change
All I mean when I say it is there’s another song coming your way about the pain that I felt, that I still feel today.
And you’d think a few years gone by could just erase… these memories
These memories.
Too many sleepless nights too many, too many days gone by
With the lives that we lead that are so out of sync but my heart just keeps on pleading bleeding
Soul is screaming I feel like leaving all this behind, most of the time.
Cause everything that is a memory is a spec of dust and it blows right past us
In the wind at high speed and I can’t slow it down or make it stop.
So as a blind man can’t you see when you hear my pain in the words I sing?
This never ending flow of misery. And these memories…
In Color 2015
MEET ME ON THE BOULEVARD
Her poetry it tells the truth, but all they want is something new
And they don’t care – whatever she has to say
The world is full of tragedy, and all they ever want to see
Is their masterpiece made of lies
Their attitude is something else,
and they don’t even care about the people in their way
Meet me on the boulevard, tomorrow …make me smile
Meet me on the boulevard, tomorrow …make me smile
We’ll walk the board and stand up tall, for they will never make us small
And don’t let them try
Meet me on the boulevard, tomorrow …make me smile
Meet me on the boulevard, tomorrow …make me smile
VACATION
I could use a vacation away from this place
I could use some sweet lovinjust to get away
Running away with you would just be too good to be true
I would go anywhere, as long as you could take me there
Finding our way back to the place, that place
We could go running, away,
Just keep up the pace, that pace
N.Y.C. Apt.
Staring out of our big glass window, looking over the big city
with our small hearts and our shallow minds.
Look at what this has turned us into
Look at what we’ve become. Nothing to lose
Lay awake in our bed of wonder knowing your right next to me
I am lonely, why am I lonely, I have everything
Look at what this has turned us into
Look at what we’ve become.
Everything, I have everything, but I feel nothing at all.
Do you really wanna stay with me, in this New York City apartment?
And do you really see us moving forward, under this roof in this big apartment.
‘cause lately I’ve been losing sleep wandering why you are next to me.
I wanna hold you close and tell you what I’m feeling
but you’re just so innocent and incomplete
that I start to doubt everything that is this New York City apartment.
I guess I’m just overthinking this but I get this feeling of loneliness in this,
In this New York City apartment.
So do you really wanna stay with me in this New York City apartment?
And do you really see us moving forward, under this roof in this big apartment.
HIGH
I must have been dreaming, head in the sky
I must have been deep in deep in my mind
I must have been dreaming to see you again
I know that we’re through and I just can’t forget you again
You must’ve been high You must’ve been lonely
To tell me those lies, You told me you loved me
High, lonely lies, love me,
You must have been high when I saw you the first time
Cause I know that you smiled that beautiful smile
That day that you told me that you were leaving
I said it was for the best but inside my heart was bleeding
Please tell me this is all a dream, Please tell me were both seeing things
You were blinded by your stupid haze, And I was caught up in my daze
Now it’s late at night and I’m looking at the sky
And the brightness of the moon reminds me of your eyes
And I miss you and I’m lonely
Yea it’s late at night and I’m looking at the sky and I count the stars
And it reminds me of the times that I’ve missed you and I’ve been lonely
IN THIS SMALL TOWN
Another day in this small town here
Another dream just disappears
Another life more complicated
Another love that just aint gonna make it
In this small town here, filled with ignorance that brings you to tears
In this small town here, all the people, all the hate,
All these things just messin up my faith
As I watch the people walk on by, I will follow my heart and swallow my pride
And return to my home where I sit by the fire, Return to the place that I most desire
To the time I loved you and I thought you loved me,
When I gave you my heart and you swallowed the key
I guess that’s how it goes, no happy ever after
I just wish we could return to the love and the laughter
I don’t really get why it happens this way
I want some true love but you just wanna play
So I guess if you ask me, and when I reply,
You’ll ask how it happened, I’ll start with a sigh
I don’t know right now and I might not ever,
So guys there you go, the end, happily ever after
CHASING
She explains how you messed her up, she tells it in a rhythm, this song
She said you made me feel special, you made me feel loved
but I know I screwed up
Then she puts her knees to her chin and starts to hum
everything will be alright,
she starts to think of herself as dumb, you’ve robbed her of her sight
Chasing old things chasing better memories
Chasing old things chasing better memories
Let the tears run for a while, then as usual fake a smile
There’s something about the night time, makes everything seem alright
Maybe it’s the color in my dreams, or maybe it’s your warm breath on me as I sleep
Chasing old things chasing better memories,
Oh how I long for you, it’s so bad it must be true
Chasing old things chasing better memories
Chasing old things, but it’s too late to go chasing our old memories
EVERY TIME
When the color starts to fade
I finally figure out, that our love was in vein
When the color starts to fade
I just close my eyes and I will it away
Every time you are on my mind you either make me smile or make me cry
Every time I think of you my heart skips a beat or it just splits into two
So let’s start with this, come here and give me a kiss
I’ll find out if it’s worth it, all the pain
If our love will always be in vein
Darling grab my hand, take me as I am
We’ll leave it all behind and I’ll forget you let me down, when I tried so hard
Every time you are on my mind you either make me smile or make me cry
Every time I think of you my heart skips a beat or it just splits into two
ANGELS LOOKING DOWN
Staring down at his feet, a teardrop hits the floor
And this is all that he needs, her and nothing more
Cause she’s beautiful to him, beautiful to him in every single way
He walks the hallways lonely every day
And she’s always got to have it her way, but she hates everything she says
But he’s beautiful to her, beautiful to her in single way
He’s an angel looking down, down, down
When he should be looking into her eyes
He’s an angel looking down at the ground
They go hand in hand, on the outside
Maybe someday they’ll be able to show their real sides
Cause they’re beautiful, only to each other
Cause they’re beautiful, only to one another, in every single way
They’re Angles…….
ATTENTION GIRL
She goes to the mirror and smears all her makeup, to make it look like she’s been crying,
Attention girl is what they call her, when all she needs is just a little love
He sings in the shower, ‘cause he’s judged anywhere else
He makes up some stories, and he doesn’t speak too loud
‘Cause they know they’re wrong, but do it anyway
because they cannot go back to yesterday
Do not judge me
The girl with the crowd of people all around her, the smile she’s wearing is fake
Because when she goes home, we all know, those are not cat scratches on her wrist
Cause fake friends don’t make up for worthiness
YESTERDAY'S GONE
Yesterday is part of the past
And we can let it go now
Yesterday was one of the worst
And you need to forget how
Lying awake in yesterday’s bed
Feelings, emotions, thoughts running through your head
Today it will stop, cause yesterday is gone
No longer you’ll hear yesterday’s song
No matter how much you long to forget about yesterday
Just remember it’s long gone and it is faraway